Ass Whip - someone who is just a pain in your ass. (IE: Justin Bieber or arrogant California transplant living in Austin)
Bit – a skit, stunt or joke usually used to entertain; sometimes a hoax or cover-up. Often times, Taylor will make up an opinion just to upset you or shock jock you. He's doing a bit.
COMMUNIST HEATHERNS - most people who live in South Austin
COUGAR MEAT - We're still not totally sure since Taylor often uses the term in many different contexts. It derives from a story of the time Taylor's mom actually had chopped cougar meat and tried to get him to boil it and eat it.
CORNBALL HALFBREED - Taylor is one. He often turns his back on both of his own races and indulges in behavior not in line with both of his said races. Ex's: when Taylor makes fun of Mexicans or when he refuses to tip a white waiter in a restaurant.
Dingus - a male reproduction organ or nickname for John De La Rosa, former audio disseminator and owner of Team Dingus in the 2k13 Celebrity Death Watch Challenge of 2k13.
D-Bag – short for douche bag. There are many examples of being a d-bag. Taylor is one about once a show.
Sumbitch - a person really good at what they do. Ex. Manster was a tacklin sumbitch. OJ was a murderin sumbitch.
Puro - anything that pertains to Mexican or Hispanic life style. Extremely stereotypical and borderline discriminatory but that's okay because Taylor's mama is Mexican.
Flat In The Front – a reference to not having any cajones; not a compliment. Ex's include taint Spur Dick Richardson and people new to Taylor's show in Austin who like it privately but don't have the balls to admit it publicly.
Jert – a tshirt that looks like a jersey but isn’t as expensive as a jersey. The jersey shirt. (No man over the age of 25 should wear a real jersey unless he's at the game or that team is playing that particular day)
Larry Pacquiao - DJ L-Gee, aka Lawrence Goynes, former audio disseminator. He's Filipino so Taylor stereotypes him. All Filipinos' last names are "Pacquiao" according to Mike.
Joe Downtown - Houston D Bag. Most Hated Caller in Mike Taylor show history.
Muskrat Rule - A time when the boss is in the halls or nearby so Taylor knows not to criticize colleagues or the boss himself. The Muskrat Rule is always in affect when Taylor's on remote but he hasn't had a remote in over 6 months so it doesn't matter as much anymore.
Myep! – an acknowledgement (the p may be silent). Taint Cowboys HC Barry Switzer uses this term often.
PANTS RIGOR MORTIS - excitement
Pressure Virgin - a player who folds in winning time.
T-shirt Fan – someone who is a fan of a sports team even though said person did not go to that college or live in that town, or otherwise has no personal affiliation or connection to the team.
Taint – slang for the area between the genitals and anus. An average or worse ex-player for a team is called a taint. Ex. taint Spur Dick Jefferson. (Tim Duncan won't be a taint Spur when he retires because he is above average)
Taint-Ticket - Jim Bob Breazeale, former audio disseminator. Aka The Bear.
Taint-Ticket Two - John De La Rosa, former audio disseminator. Aka Dingus.
Taint-Ticket Three - DJ L-Gee. former audio disseminator. Aka Larry Pacquiao.
Teca State -the school Tita and LG and JB attended; Texas State.
The Bear - Pet name given to JB after a Starbucks employee mistook Mike and Jim Bob for a gay couple.
The People – the loyal listeners of Taylor; see also Thunderdome.
Thunderdome – originally started at Missions games, this was a group of fans who cheered on the team. The name is now given to any large group of Taylor fans who are known to get rowdy; they do not necessarily need to be at a sporting event.
Tita - Mike Taylor's wife.
UPPER DECKER - a gigantic bowel movement
WEENER HITTER - a player who is tough and gets it done in winning time. Ex's include Tim Duncan, Lance Berkman and Manster.
WINNING TIME - late in games when they are decided -- Taylor claims that no NBA game matters until after the final tv timeout, no NFL game matters until the last 5 minutes and no MLB game matters until the 7th inning. This is his way of mailing in having to watch the entire game itself.
Yao Ming - slang for, "You know what I mean?" (EX: The Rockets suck, Yao Ming?")
You ‘Member – added to statements that you probably already know as fact or accept as true.
"I hope that jerk gets butt polyps!"
"He doesn't know his own ass from last Tuesday."
"Winners get to do what they want." (Talladega Nights)
"What do you want for Christmas? A snot rag?" (Bad Santa)
"He's a hustler with a high metabolism." (Stephen Jackson)
"This is about as useful as a dingus flavored lollypop."
TAYLOR HEROES INCLUDE:
- Don Cornelius
- Carl from Slingblade
- Eddie Vedder
- Sgt. Hartman from Full Metal Jacket
- Nucky Thompson
- Uncle Rico
- The Olmec Indians
- Nike Indonesian child workers
- Jamie Shaw from Carabin Shaw
- Doug O'Neal from Hill Country Satellite